//Whales Are Flatulent Little Assholes

Whales Are Flatulent Little Assholes

Humpback Whales on the Bay of Fundy

Went for a drive to Freeport, Nova Scotia to try my luck at watching whales and testing my sea legs on the Bay of Fundy. We connected with a good friend of mine who I went to Basic Training with back in the day. On our way to Freeport we stopped by the now closed CFB Cornwallis (near Digby) where we had spent almost 3 months getting our brains indoctrinated to all things military. Some of the strongest friendships I’ve had through my life were forged in basic training.

After reminiscing about the antics endured at Cornwallis (including detailed instructions on what gear to pack if going AWOL in the Maritimes during the dead of winter); we drove to Freeport and enjoyed an awesome lunch at Lavena’s Catch Café. I am sad to report that the piano is getting horribly out of tune as compared to my first visit there.

A Three Hour Cruise

Belly’s full with lenses cleaned and packed for our cameras, we set off on a whale watching tour in the Bay of Fundy on a lobster boat providing dual service as a charter. It got boring fast… unless you like boats and motoring to some arbitrary point in the middle of a large body of water. I was not bored.

Amanda, our congenial expert on all things whales, provided commentary with an informative spiel meant to relieve the boredom of motoring, I did catch some tidbits:

  • just how much fish whales eat on a typical dive (1+ ton);
  • how they have been monitoring the same whales and families (30+ years);
  • whale yoga (belly stretching to help in digesting food);
  • what kind of whales (humpback this time of year); and
  • they really stink (they really stink).

Whale Stink

I’ve seen whales breaching on tv and spouting geysers of water through their blowholes, never really thinking about what was going on. So the first time we started seeing whales from the boat, you could sense the excitement of all the passengers to view this magnificent beast in the wild. As advertised, whales roll up to the surface to get more air for the next dive after exhaling the previously stored air out its blowhole… that is a dank, dank smell wafting over the boat. A ton of rotting fish and warm, moist mammalian lungs make for quite an eye-opening (and nose offending) learning experience that yes Sofia, whales are flatulent little assholes.

I’m not sure what was worse, the smell or having a whale breach beside the boat and exhale a plume of whale snot through its blowhole basically covering the boat and passengers in this vile and noxious substance. Ahhh, the great outdoors… when do I leave for the next trip!

Anywho, here are some of the pictures I took that day after repeatedly wiping whale snot from my lenses. The names of the humpback whales in these photos are: Sockeye, Old Tom, Flipper and Cloud.

On our way back to Freeport, we were entertained by a duo on guitar. If you’d like to book a charter with this whale watching company, drop me a line from the contact page.

Here’s a video captured by a passenger of whales splish-splashing in the Bay of Fundy.